Jermaine Jackson would now like to be known as "Jermaine Jacksun" to people who know who Jermaine Jackson is

Not wanting to ride the coattails of his more famous and talented siblings for anything longer than half a century or so, Jermaine Jackson has filed a petition to change his name to the totally different and independent "Jermaine Jacksun." Though the elder brother to Michael Jackson cited "artistic reasons" for the request—suggesting he is maybe thinking about becoming some sort of artist—he didn't offer any specific elaboration for why, at age 57, he finally felt the need to stand out from the rest of the Jackson family for the first time in his life, and carve out his own path in every single way besides enjoying the money and fame that comes from being related to them. However, his friend Steve Dennis did comment for him for some reason, citing the examples of Prince, Snoop Lion, and Metta World Peace as people who are far more interesting than Jermaine Jackson.

Dennis also offered his own, appropriately annoying explanation: "It is something he has chosen to do, and it’s fair to say that you cannot blame this one on the boogie, you’ve got to blame it on the sunshine," Dennis said without immediately being punched in the face, referring to The Jackson 5 hit "Blame It On The Boogie," the infusion of "sun" into the would-be Jacksun's last name, and the ever-present fact that Michael Jackson is still dead and this is what we're left with. No word yet on whether Jermaine's son Jermajesty would also change his name, as he's been silently sulking for the last 12 years.