In what has to be the stupidest celebrity feud of the second half of June 2018, Jimmy Fallon and Donald Trump are still fighting over whether or not Fallon should have apologized for touching Trump’s hair back in 2016. That is a real and factual sentence about the time in which we live. What began as a simple mea culpa from the late-night host later earned admonitions from our commander in chief, demanding that Fallon “be a man” and not apologize for the playful tousle; Fallon, in response, made a donation to the Refugee And Immigrant Center For Education And Legal Services.
During last night’s monologue, Fallon talked about why he chose not to get into a Twitter slap-fight with the president. “I was going to respond on Twitter but I had more important things to do,” he says. “Then I thought, wait—shouldn’t he have more important things to do?” Even after moving on to other topics, Fallon gets a few more digs in on the president and questions how he also had time over the weekend to write a shitty Yelp review for a Red Hen restaurant, especially when there are other things—like, say, a galling humanitarian crisis of his own design—occurring within our very country.
The president, meanwhile, spent last night at a rally in South Carolina howling about—what else?—late-night television, calling Jimmy Kimmel “a lowlife” and saying Fallon “looks like a lost soul.” Then he quoted director David Lynch’s claim that Trump could go down as “one of the greatest president in history,” which inspires beautiful images of MAGA chuds everywhere mainlining all 18 hours of Twin Peaks: The Return to own the libs. You can see Trump’s late-night criticism starting around 22:30 in the video below, if you want to.