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Jimmy Kimmel promises a jet ski to whoever gives the shortest acceptance speech tonight

Photo: Kevin Winter (Getty Images)

After some supposedly extra safe red carpet festivities, host Jimmy Kimmel kicked off the show itself with a retro-themed opening sequence presented in black and white that featured Kimmel make old-timey jokes about modern Hollywood stars. Plus, if anyone was wondering how quickly and how frequently the show would start throwing in references to the big mix-up that ended last year’s ceremony, the answer was “immediately and constantly.” See full video below.

In the actual monologue, Kimmel noted how great the Oscar trophy is, because it’s a Hollywood man without a penis, and he brought up the Academy expelling Harvey Weinstein last year—a punishment previously only reserved for a guy who shared a screener. Kimmel also brought up the many history-making nominees at this year’s Oscars, but noted that Hollywood still has a long way to go to achieve proper equality, as evidenced by Mark Wahlberg’s controversially huge payday for the All The Money In The World reshoots.


From there, Kimmel moved on to the always fun “crowd work” sequence, reminding the audience that Timothée Chalamet is missing Paw Patrol for this and asking Christopher Plummer how Lin-Manuel Miranda compares to the real Alexander Hamilton (because he’s old). FInally, Kimmel revealed tonight’s recurring gag, which is that whoever gives the shortest speech tonight will win a jet ski, as presented by Price Is Right showcase model Helen Mirren.

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