John Mulaney's "Rolex money" story is even more of a bummer than we thought

Among those stories, one of the most “Woof, man” is a tale Mulaney recounts in which he goes to extreme lengths to get around his own protections to try to curtail his drus spending—using his credit card to buy a Rolex, sell it for cash, and then spend the cash on drugs. (As Mulaney puts it: “Why don’t you name a better way to make $6,000 in five minutes by only spending $12,000?”) This is already, obviously, grim. But, as it turns out, it gets even more screwed up than originally reported, as Mulaney revealed during a podcast interview this week that he then proceeded to lose half of the money, accidentally throwing it away in the trash.

This is per Vulture, reporting on a conversation the comic had with THR’s Awards Chatter podcast, in which he revealed that, after operating the aforementioned get-poor-quick scheme, he then put half of the money in an Apple shopping bag—which then vanished. Mulaney: “I was in a 20-floor apartment building in the West Village back then, and I went through almost all the trash in the basement … Didn’t find it.”

So, if nothing else, we now have the answer to the age-old question “What’s sadder/funnier than a very successful comedian throwing away $6,000 so he could spend another $6,000 on drugs?”—and it turns out to have been “a very successful comedian (literally) throwing away $9,000 so he could spend another $3,000 on drugs.” Like we said: Woof, man.