Jon Stewart tries to wring some advice for the class of 2026 out of Trump

As it’s mid-May and college graduation season, Stewart offers a decent bit where he attempts to wring out some interview lessons for the class of 2026 out of the president’s infamous behavior. “Maybe the advice that we’ve been giving them all along—honesty, hard work, and all that other gay shit—is completely wrong. Maybe we should be students at Donald Trump University—which, obviously, you can’t be because it was a fraud and got shut down,” says Stewart. “But metaphorically.” Instead of a polite firm handshake, you must yank at the hand of your prospective employer. Brag about your education and achievements in a strange and off-putting way. Tell them you don’t need their job and make objectifying comments about all the women in the office. Don’t display any humility and call anyone who asks you a tough question stupid and evil. 

“So for you graduates, I know that this advice and behaving in the way you just witnessed seems counterintuitive—why would I alienate the very people that I’m appealing to? Who are just doing their job asking reasonable questions? And my answer to that is: I don’t know! I don’t know why this works! I don’t fucking get it!” says Stewart. “But here we are, and here he is, and he’s the president and I’m on basic cable. I don’t understand. The point is, it doesn’t make sense, just fucking do it!” Check out the whole segment below.