Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Judi Dench is possibly an evil cat god in the new Cats trailer

In just one month, our collective minds will be blown to glittery, fur-covered smithereens. Should you need further reminding that a spectacular shit-show is nigh, here’s the new trailer for Cats, a movie that’s destined to make every cat lady disown her cat-children and burn her “I hate Mondays” sweaters in a fit of manic disillusion. There’s hissing. There’s dancing. There’s singing. Idris Elba collects an unfortunate paycheck. This. Is. Cats.


Okay, but seriously: Why is Universal presenting this trailer as if Cats is a feline-themed super-sized edition of Dancing With The Stars? “Only one can win,” the trailer boasts, as if we’re about to watch some cats enter a fucking Thunderdome. The only thing that grounds this trailer in anything resembling reality is the depiction of Dame Judi Dench as god-like (she is). Apparently she holds the power to decide which cat gets to die and be reborn into a more perfect life of their choosing—which seems like a sick joke. Is Cats... actually about an old, wise cat tricking a bunch of younger, naive cats into believing that death is the ultimate lottery? Is cat-Judi Dench an evil genius who’s convinced all these cats to fight for the right to die?! Is Cats a secret masterpiece?

The answer to all these questions (and maybe actually probably none of them) will be revealed on December 20, while you’re busy watching Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker.