Michigan resident Robert Ritchie—known to fans as that Cicero of shitty country-rap, Kid Rock—has fired back at watchdog groups suggesting that his near-constant comments about running for office might actually make him subject to the U.S.A.’s electioneering laws. Faced with accusations that selling signs with slogans like “Kid Rock For Senate ’18" makes him a candidate—and thus beholden to the Federal Election Campaign Act, which requires candidates to track and report donations and campaign contributions—Ritchie fired back with the same sort of measured response that the Michigan electorate can probably hope to see from him if they get blazed out of their goddamned minds and elect him into office in 2018:
#1 I have still not officially announced my candidacy.
#2 See #1 and go fuck yourselves.
(He also managed to work in some accusations against the “fake news.”)
Going to fuck themselves non-withstanding, election watchdog group Common Cause pointed out—in a complaint issued to the Department Of Justice—that FECA automatically defines a “candidate” as anyone who receives more than $5,000 in contributions, regardless of their stated intent. (The law does make exceptions for people “testing the waters,” but those efforts usually stop well short of plastering “ME FOR SENATE AHAHAHAHA” all over the internet for an entire summer.)
Although Ritchie has yet to formally announce any kind of actual candidacy, he’s drawing depressing amounts of interest for his alleged run against long-time Democratic incumbent Debbie Stabenow. Polls suggest his name recognition among the “People who don’t care if their senators look like they smell like a pissed-on old couch” set might make him a legitimate contender, and a few conservative think-tanks have been giving quiet signals that they’d like him to run.