Wassup, all you dope fresh cool kids out there! Your awkward uncle who self-identifies as the “cool” one, The A.V. Club, is here to rap at you about some jiggy-fresh news! See, Variety reports the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards were announced this morning. And it’s full of all the awesomest, most hippity-hoppity stuff from the past year! Captain America: Civil War got nominated for a bunch of stuff, which is hella cool! So did Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice, which, hey, you kids are the future, don’t let us old squares tell you what barely even holds together as a story, let alone an entire film! And Kevin Hart and Justin Timberlake lead the nominations of people are either actors, musicians, Instagram celebs, or some other form of totally rad popularity! Xbox One S!
But the crazy bitchin’ news isn’t even the usual roster of fleeting pop culture that definitely will stand the test of time, my dawgs and dawgettes! No, it’s the fact that there are nine new awards categories this year. Can you believe we ever lived in an era where there wasn’t a Kids’ Choice Award given to Favorite Frenemies? No, you can’t, and now you don’t have to! Additionally, you’ve finally got where-have-you-been-all-our-lives categories to vote on such as Favorite Music Video (totes a thing kids love), Most Wanted Pet (only in the singular?!?!), and Favorite Viral Music Artist, a category which seems to largely consist of nine-year-olds with hair coiffed within an inch of its life! Yeah! Hot Pockets!
Still, the news that’s going to have you totally skankin’ with excitement is the “Favorite DJ/EDM Artist” category. You kids love EDM, right? Of course you do! It’s the raddest! You get to load up on Mountain Dew and select from some of the most pre-teen skewing artists out there, like Skrillex, Calvin Harris, DJ Snake, Major Lazer, and Zedd! Turn down for fun, am I right? And let’s not forget everyone’s favorite EDM guy who we definitely didn’t have to look up just now, Martin Garrix! So let’s pop some instant mac and cheese in the microwave, drop the bass, and totally party down to some of the freshest message for young people out there, and for sure ignore all the drug references, especially to the stuff that’s for sure not sitting in our sock drawer. Big Bang Theory!