1980s: Put out some albums that emphasize your hair.

Hair: Giant, curly, and frozen with hair spray. 1990s: Put out some more albums. Get involved in a hair Western movie franchise.

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Hair: Slightly shorter, but infinitely fluffier. Early 2000s: Put out a couple more albums. Why not? Guest star on Sex & The City, and then ramp up the sex-symbol-for-desperate-woman image by guest starring on Ally McBeal.

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Hair: Much shorter, much frostier, but also a lot messier and thicker-looking. Basically, confusion but translated into hair. 2003-4: Release a box set that makes conspicuous use of gold lame suits. Get involved in a horrible idea that doesn't involve music like, say, arena football.

Hair: Same as in the early 2000s, but painfully blonder. Some might even call it a "gold lame blond." 2007: Put out another album–An album so incredible it contains songs that can be used to promote both arena football and the rollicking old-guys-on-motorcycles comedy, Wild Hogs. Then put out an action figure for some ungodly reason.

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Hair: Plastic. And about 20 years too late.