By far the best part about tonight's presidential debate was the moment when, about mid-way through explaining how he slayed the ferocious, fire-breathing dragon that had captured our economy, John McCain was interrupted by a great ripping noise, like a million velcro strips being pulled apart at once. Standing at his podium, McCain turned his head towards the ceiling just in time to see a great white gash form in the space above him. Just then, Future McCain appeared at the mouth of the opening, the crown on the jar that contained his head gleaming. He looked out at the crowd and shouted: "America, it is I, John McCain, the winner of this debate, this election, and eventually, 40 years from now after I have died, been cryogenically frozen, then unfrozen, and the instigator of a bloody coup from which I emerged victorious, the first sovereign king of this, our fair nation. Come with me through this wormhole, and I will show you our bright future–Including talking heads in jars, which, honestly, I still find pretty cool even though I've been living as one for 60 years now."