New York’s greatest sorcerer wields magic while wearing Dragon Ball shit

By Alex McLevy  |  August 1, 2017 | 5:13pm
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Magic is real. Such is the refrain of every performer of prestidigitation, every conjurer of enchantment, and also your 6-year-old niece. Like many a doubting Thomas, we have gone through our lives rejecting this supernatural superstition, preferring to trust our own senses and internal bullshit detectors, knowing that every feat of illusion or sleight of hand has a perfectly reasonable explanation. And that remained our modus operandi, until roughly three hours ago, when the coolest man in New York showed us that our entire belief system was a lie. And all it took was a Rubik’s Cube and some Dragon Ball Z saiyan armor, just as Nostradamus predicted.

Yes, with his eyes seemingly closed (magic!), possessed of only a do-rag and a top bearing the armor from Dragon Ball (wizardry! Or at least access to Forbidden Planet on Broadway and 13th!), and with the nimble ease of a necromancer, this mysterious warlock solves a Rubik’s cube by throwing it back and forth between his hands, relying only on the mystical powers of the underworld to aid his shamanistic display. And the people around him don’t even realize they’re in the midst of New York City’s most powerful occultist. Perhaps that’s how he likes it? And who knows what other secrets he bears.

Still, it seems other wizards are loathe to bestow upon this holy warrior the respect he deserves:

 
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