Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

New Zealand man cocks up potholes in order to get them filled faster

Allow your imagination to draw a crudely spray painted penis here.
Allow your imagination to draw a crudely spray painted penis here.
Photo: Justin Sullivan (Getty Images)

Auckland, New Zealand’s Geoff Upson is a man who understands the political power of dick graffiti. While last year gave us the story of “Penis Man”—the Arizona tagger who found a simple joy in spray painting the words “Penis Man” all over the place until he was arrested in a ridiculous display of overpolicing—Upson has more deliberately unleashed wiener-based chaos, using pavement dick pics to get untended potholes filled.

Advertisement

Vice interviewed Upson about his work, which began in 2018 “out of frustration” over a big local pothole going unfilled despite him filing many official complaints. In order to draw attention to the potentially dangerous holes, Upson began painting big cartoon penises and testicles on them. Photographs from his Facebook account show some of his work, which is as crudely drawn as it is effective.

Upson says he’s “spent about NZ$400 ($286 [USD]) on spray paint this year” and estimates that he’s tagged more than 100 holes to date (though some get shafted, receiving less eye-catching paint circles instead of cartoon dicks). Aside from helping drivers avoid the potholes, the graffiti tends to speed up road repairs when the media reports on the pictures.

The results of his penis praxis have inspired others across New Zealand to join in the practice, but Upson has also been in trouble with the police over his work. He says he’s cooperated when asked to provide formal statements even though he’s concerned about facing “potential charges” or possible jail time.

“Mostly I am disappointed that Auckland Transport have told the media they want to prosecute me when they are still making almost no effort to repair unsafe potholes and undulations on roads I have to drive on a daily basis,” Upson says.

To this, we say: Keep fighting the bastards. They may try to take down one penis-spray painting guy but they can never defeat the penis-spray painting spirit that dwells in the hearts of us all.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Advertisement

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.