Idle hands are the devil’s playthings, a problem the excess-prone Nicolas Cage has solved by starring in every film he’s offered, just to keep out of trouble—save a Romanian standoff over honor or two. But during one of his rare lulls this Saturday, Cage was arrested in New Orleans, according to TMZ, after police found a “very drunk” Cage having a loud argument with his wife in the street. The two were reportedly fighting over the location of the apartment they were renting in the city—which, given the number of houses (and pyramids) Cage has his name on in this big, confusing world, would be a matter of some consternation even without the alcohol.
As they argued, a cab driver driving by said he saw Cage push or grab his wife, so he called the cops. When the police approached the couple, they say they Cage began banging on parked cars and attempted to get into a taxi. After they ordered him out of the cab, they cut Cage a break and just asked him to go home, but Cage refused, allegedly asking, “Why don’t you just arrest me?” The cops repeated that he should just go home. Perhaps knowing he had no way of doing that, Cage dared them again to arrest him. They complied.
Cage has been charged with one count of disturbing the peace and one count of domestic violence, though his wife has asked that the last charge be dropped, claiming there was no physical contact. As an odd tangent to this story, Cage’s $11,000 bond was posted by Duane “Dog The Bounty Hunter” Chapman, whose friendship with Cage we are only now learning about, but it makes an odd sort of sense, doesn’t it? And then this morning video and photos surfaced from a tattoo parlor visited by Cage, his wife, and friends not long before the altercation in the street, where Cage is seen stumbling in, drink in hand, already arguing with his entourage, then sitting down in the chair, reportedly demanding to get inked up. According to witnesses, he then allegedly asked the tattoo store employees to call the cops, and when they asked why, he replied that it was because he didn’t know where he lived. So it’s possible that Cage saw getting arrested as simply the quickest route from point A to point B.
Of course, this isn’t the first time Cage has had a drunken escapade in New Orleans: This month’s GQ has an eyewitness account from editor in chief Jim Nelson, who describes firsthand one of Cage’s intoxicated tirades during Mardi Gras, including looking at a stranger couple’s photos of their children and declaring, “Now that’s AMERICA!” as he pounded the bar, demanding that they give him their contact information (“GIVE ME YOUR DIGITS!!!!”), and refusing several expensive rare wines by shouting, “Give me something more RRRRREAL!” Things took an even uglier turn when Cage—whose wife and son had reportedly stormed out on him earlier—began seeking female companionship, shouting, “WHERE’S THE REAL GIRLS?” and assessing two (already accompanied) women he spotted in the corner (“’You.’ He pointed at the brunette. ‘You're a contender.’ He turned to the blonde. ‘You're not’”). Nelson’s story ends with Cage being dragged out by security, smashing a window with his hand, and screaming, “You LOVE ME!” at the staff, though he may well have been talking to the Internet.