Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Nothing Says Christmas Like A Dead Terrorist Ventriloquist's Dummy

The Christmas season is upon us, a time of year when morning zoo crews at radio stations all around the country dust off their copies of "Osama Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and maybe even try their hands at an unfunny Christmas song parody of their own. Someday, in the not so distant future, we will all turn on morning radio in the week before Christmas and hear a solid hour of Whoopee Cushion Christmas carols: Just fart noises and giggling to the tune of "Silent Night" "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" and "Jingle Bells." That's what morning zoo crew Christmas is all about.

If only there were someone somewhere who could take morning zoo crew Christmas song parodies past the all-fart-noise carols and to the next level of mediocrity. Perhaps by performing them live on Comedy Central, with their hand inside a stereotype puppet. Because what we really need to enhance this season of family, hope, and giving is a chorus of loud, painful groans.


Just when you thought, "Well, at least there are no racial slurs in this song," he throws in the "Towelhead" reference at the end. That's Jeff Dunham: Always striving to be the absolute worst. If good stand-up comedy is about originality and precision, Dunham is a myopic guy with an ax, just hacking away at the well-worn marks in the biggest targets he can find.

You'll be happy/dismayed/concerned to know that Achmed The Dead Terrorist isn't Dunham's only stereotype puppet. He also has Bubba J, the redneck dummy, Jose Jalepeno On A Stick, the Mexican dummy, and Sweet Daddy Dee, who is the African-American dummy.

More about Sweet Daddy Dee:

He's the new showbiz manager of the bunch, wearing more bling than Snoop Dogg, and keeping Dunham confused with his street-savvy and hip-hop talk.


Dunham's dummies are so perfectly awful, so thoroughly unfunny, that their very existence seems like a joke. If "Jeff Dunham" were a Neil-Hamburger like character, his act would be genius. As it stands though his act is simply bad, not so bad it's funny. Still, people apparently like bad comedy covered in stereotype puppets: Dunham's recent Christmas special earned Comedy Central its highest ratings ever. So, it's been confirmed: Everyone is stupid. Merry Christmas!