Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

OJ Talks About How It Would Hypothetically Feel To Hypothetically Stab His Hypothetical Wife

So far, we as a nation are only about a week into one of the most arduous tests of our collective endurance: November sweeps. There are some things to look forward to (extended episodes of The Office), some things that promise to challenge our patience (ABC's Groundhog Day-but-a-serialized-drama-involving-Taye-Diggs, Day Break), and some things that will make you contemplate ever watching television again (the two night Barbara Walters blooper special 30 Mistakes In 30 Years). But today Fox announced the most sweepsy sweeps stunt to have ever sweeped (sorry), an interview with OJ Simpson entitled If I Did It, Here's How It Happened. From their website:

Over 10 years after he was tried for two murders in the "Trial of the Century" that captured the attention of the world, O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes. Noted publisher Judith Regan will talk with Simpson in a wide-ranging, no-holds-barred interview that will be the basis of a two-part special, O.J. SIMPSON: IF I DID IT, HERE'S HOW IT HAPPENED (working title).


Other working titles: OJ: Maybe I'm A Murderer, or OJ: How Can I Make This Whole Double Homicide Thing Work For Me? Let's Try This. Still, it's a good thing that this interview will stretch over two nights. The addition of all those conditional phrases to the questions and responses will make the interview at least twice as long as it should be. But who is Judith Regan, and, apart from sweeps, why is Simpson doing this now?

Although acquitted of murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, Simpson was later sued in civil court, found responsible for both murders and ordered to pay $33.5 million in restitution to the families of the victims. A decade later, Simpson has written a book that hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed. "If I Did It" will go on sale Thursday, Nov. 30, under the REGAN imprint.

She's the publisher of his new book. Of course. More working titles: OJ Simpson: Watch This Two Night Commercial For My Book, or OJ Simpson: If I Had A Book Out, Here's How I Would Promote It.