Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Pop Fiction Will Teach You Lots Of Lessons

As you know, Ashton Kutcher's new show P'Fict'n isn't a mere prank show. It's a prank show with a lesson: Don't believe everything you read, you stupid moron (that last part is implied). But having watched two jumpy, Access Hollywood-as-edited-with-a-blender episodes now, I can tell you that isn't the real lesson of P'Fict'n.

In fact, you can learn a lot of lessons just from watching the clip below of one of the show's hilarious (to the self-involved people involved) paparazzi pranks, but "Don't believe everything you read" is not one of them.

Lessons learned:

1. When two famewhores (like Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez) stage something for the paparazzi, the paparazzi will come and take pictures of said staged something. This isn't called "punking" or even "p'fict'ning" it's called a "publicity stunt."

2. Being on P'Fict'n is a great way to get back at the paparazzi—or to get some attention for the stupid new restaurant you're opening and mention at least 5 times, right, Eva?

3. Eva Longoria's laugh was manufactured in a lab by scientists seeking to create the world's most hideous, annoying cackle. Way to go, science.

4. There are only three people in the world who care about the supposed sexual tension between Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez: Eva Longoria, Mario Lopez, and Eva Longoria's make-up artist (who is contractually required to dump 8 layers of foundation on any tension within a 1-foot radius of Eva).

5. Prank shows aren't the best avenue for making a point. Remember that episode of Candid Camera that taught you all about how apartheid was wrong? No, of course you don't, because Candid Camera never did a didactic episode. Candid Camera was trying to be funny, not trying to teach you a lesson. With P'Fict'n that order is reversed, and so neither goal is accomplished.