Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Resistance hero Mark Hamill is battling twisted villain Ted Cruz over net neutrality

(Photo: Getty Images, Stuart C. Wilson) / (Photo: Getty images, Mark Wilson)

Having decimated the important consumer-protection systems of net neutrality, FCC Supreme Leader Ajit Pai has deployed an extremely irritating video to seize military control of the galaxy—or at least to try and convince people that it’s totally cool when internet service providers can charge extra for access to specific websites or throttle domain speeds on a whim. Thankfully, Jedi Master Mark Hamill has returned to restore a spark of hope to the fight, mostly by going after Pai’s smug bullshit on Twitter and then taking the attack to noted asshole Ted Cruz when he tried to come to Pai’s defense.

Hamill took offense to Pai’s Star Wars nod in the video, saying he’s “profoundly unworthy” to wield a lightsaber because he values “giant corporations” over “the common man.”


Then Ted Cruz jumped in for some reason, condescendingly saying that “Hollywood can be confusing” and that supporting net neutrality is like supporting the dark side. He also said that Darth Vader “supported govt power over everything said & done on the internet,” which doesn’t make any damn sense because they don’t have the internet in Star Wars and also Vader’s side literally disbanded the government to enforce a fascist agenda—something Cruz and other Republicans should be familiar with.


Anyway, Mark Hamill replied, dunking on Cruz for both his failure to spell correctly and for his well-known fondness for checking out porn on Twitter:


It’s a cheap shot, sure, but Cruz doesn’t really deserve better than that. He also posted another response to Hamill, further explaining how it’s better for people to be controlled by corporations than it is for corporations to be monitored by the government, but embedding that tweet would just give him more legitimacy than he deserves. Instead, let’s just embed this amazing photo of Hamill putting Daisy Ridley through some Jedi training in 2016:


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