
Welcome. We’re happy that you could join us for another ranking of The Righteous Gemstones’ least pathetic members. We all know that every Gemstone is a pitiful, inhumane, duplicitous grifter. Here we’ll see which one comes the closest to human by ranking them from most pathetic to least pathetic. It is an important job, but to properly honor the Lord, it is our duty.
This week, their progress continues to pay off. Growth isn’t something you expect from the Gemstones, yet here’s Uncle Baby Billy (Walton Goggins) owning up to past sins and taking a punch to the schnoz. Meanwhile, fresh from his coma, Eli (John Goodman) encourages his kids to do what they do best: get some muscular men together and return to doing nothing. Daddy’s home to lead the Sunday service; no need for Jesse to take over just yet—no matter how much Amber (Cassidy Freeman) pushes. Even little Kelvin (Adam Devine) is making some strides, bearing the cross and showing something resembling dignity.
So who is the least pathetic Gemstone this week? The answer may surprise you.