Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today to say goodbye to the Gemstone babies—at least until Zaslav gives Young Gemstones the green light. (Do it, Dave. Do it.) “Interlude IV” marks the final mid-season flashback of the show’s run, ending the tradition of looking to the past to inform the present. The last three followed a similar structure, with the three kids fading to the background a bit as the life and times of Aimee-Leigh and Eli Gemstone leave their marks on their foul-mouthed offspring. Last year, Judy took center stage. This year, we see how Kelvin survived spring break-in 2002.
Played by young Tristan Borders, whom we’ve watched grow into an adorable and hilarious “gossip boy” these last few years, Kelvin owns the episode’s first act. He constantly gets in Jesse and Judy’s faces and hits below the belt, proving a touch sharper than his older siblings. Described as a know-it-all dickhead by his brother (J. Gavlin Wilde, doing another spot-on Danny McBride impression as young Jesse), Kelvin prides himself on being the smartest and wiliest of the family, picking his spots and going for the jugular.
Though he still loves waterslides and body talk, Jesse is about to become a father. Amber’s pregnant, and Jesse is ready to take his place next to his father at the head of the table. Meanwhile, Judy is still stuck in the middle, often on the outs from the rest of her family and watching but not participating. Not even her privacy is respected. Early in the episode, Kelvin enters her room and rifles through her Tiger Beat magazines before finding her diary stuffed inside the bench at the end of her bed. Kelvin uses these things against his siblings, showing early examples of the youngest Gemstone as the most cutting. (Their recent blow-up is another example.) In Kelvin’s eyes, Jesse is ruining his life by having his first son, “Stallone,” and Judy wants to build babies with her teacher. Simultaneously with his sexual awakening, Kelvin establishes all these negative associations with sex. The episode is the Rosetta Stone for his and Keefe’s repressed relationship.
The episode opens with a look at how the public views the Gemstones as Aimee-Leigh and Eli make their case for a 10-acre parking lot, which they say will revitalize the community with good, high-paying jobs. But one board member isn’t having it and accuses the Gemstones of buying the council as the camera cuts to one teenage member chewing on a donut. Outside, both Gemstones get a pie in the face. We rarely see how the broader community views the family, and it’s not positive. That makes sense. Does anyone know any admirable megachurch owners who franchise their chapels to mini-malls? Earlier this season, Jesse attempted to undercut franchise owners by releasing the Prayer Pods, self-service automated kiosks. No wonder the community doesn’t trust them.
That resentment carries over to Cobb. The gator farmer isn’t impressed by the Gemstones and would rather jump in the water with the gators than pray with Eli. But his wife loves the family and resents Cobb for not spending more money. He’s cheap, she says. He says he’s not fancy. Aimee-Leigh offers her an escape hatch when Lori asks about recording a follow-up to “Sassy On Sunday.” The idea excites Aimee-Leigh, giving Lori a chance at independence. Throughout the episode, as Lori and Aimee-Leigh rekindle their musical partnership, Lori explains the dregs of her marriage. It only gets worse as they get to work. One night, Cobb shows up drunk and gets physical with Lori, forcing Eli to get physical with Cobb. The punch cleaves the family in two, with Corey in the middle.
It’s worth reflecting on how Corey treats Jana this season in light of how his father treated Lori. “Quit trying to be funny, Jana,” Corey would tell his wife on Galilee Gulch two decades after his father insisted that Lori give up her country-star dreams. Corey has always been a doting son, hoping to be of use not only to his parents but the Gemstones. He goes further and becomes an accomplice to his father’s crimes. (No wonder he was so disturbed by his mom’s relationship with Eli.) There isn’t a hint of a relationship between Lori and Eli in this episode, but the families are close—and Cobb’s hatred surely infected his son’s worldview in the decades since the divorce.
This is all out of Kelvin’s purview. He’s just a little smart-ass in a Jimmy Neutron shirt, and when his older siblings and Corey go out for tacos one stormy night, he hangs back to catch up on some reading and take a bubble bath. It was all a ruse to get a hand on Judy’s hunk magazines and learn seven more reasons to love Hayden (as if we needed any more). If the night didn’t end the way it did, it’s easy to imagine a world where Judy recognized that her magazines were torn up by Kelvin and maybe confronted him about it. Instead, Kelvin gets wrapped up in Cobb’s attack.
After Corey chooses the Gemstones over dogs with Dad, Cobb gets drunk and tosses chicken to his reptilian babies, stewing over his marriage. When he finds out the kids have gone out, he heads to the Gemstones’ estate for revenge. He breaks in, pisses in Eli’s bourbon, and steals Elijah’s gold Bible. From Kelvin’s perspective, the mere hint of exploring his homosexuality sent a demon to his house to steal his father’s prized possession and the family’s most valuable heirloom. The Bible is clearly important to the kids but not so much to Eli, who doesn’t seem that concerned with it. He’s just happy that his kids are okay, even though he lets Jesse unknowingly drink some pee. Elijah’s stolen Bible symbolizes Kelvin’s stolen life, punishing him for ogling the likes of Brendan Frasier and Josh Hartnett and shoving him into the closet for the next 20 years.
“Interlude IV” gives us much to chew on for the back half of the season. For one thing, we know Lori wasn’t kidding when she mentioned her ex. The show did an excellent job hiding Cobb until this episode, often making him seem like a complete non-entity compared to Big Dick Rich. Cobb’s unpredictability makes him a prime suspect for the unfortunate demise of Lori’s suitors. This also helps shed light on Corey, who covers for his father here and has been framed suspiciously throughout the season. Moreover, we understand why Kelvin needed to create his own version of scripture to find happiness. He sees the world through a new PRISM, but now that Vance has reopened these old wounds, we expect Kelvin to return to his treehouse.
Stray observations
- • Sunday School: Tonight’s title comes from the word “interlude,” which means a pause between acts in a play.
- • “My fucking hunks!”
- • Cobb probably isn’t going to like it when he hears that Lori and Eli are seeing each other.
- • Stallone Gemstone.
- • Martin supports Jesse naming his son “Stallone” because of the wonderful time he and his wife had at Planet Hollywood in Orlando.
- • “Kneel to him.”
- • Kelvin’s performance of 3 Doors Down was perfection.
- • Emma Shannon’s extended head swivel, too, was just incredible. These three kids have such fantastic chemistry. It’s a shame to say goodbye to them.
