Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

The Golden Globes are usually the wildest awards show of the season, as celebrities who haven’t eaten anything more substantial than a kale smoothie in weeks get tipsy on free champagne and run their mouths. But unless Brie Larson gets wasted on shooters and storms the stage at the Oscars, it looks like the National Board of Review awards could take this year’s honor.

The awards, whose invitation called for “festive” attire and whose amenities reportedly included copious amounts of wine, were held last night in New York City. And although many of the winners—whose names were announced back in November, eliminating any pre-show jitters—stayed on message with speeches and pins referencing the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, others were off the cuff and, frankly, pretty lit.

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Take Jordan Peele, who sarcastically thanked white people for no longer bringing up how much they loved President Obama in his acceptance speech for Best Directorial Debut for Get Out. Or Meryl Streep, who said she wanted to “get into the hammock” of Timothée Chalamet’s acceptance speech for his Best Breakthrough Performance award before declaring, “I love men. Oh my God. Yeah, I know, it’s The Year of the Woman and everything, but oh my God. The men. All my mentors have been men.”

But the wildest of all was Robert De Niro, who almost made up for Dirty Grandpa with his speech introducing Streep. (The anti-vaxxer thing, we’re still holding against him.) Let’s just quote it liberally (no pun intended), shall we?:

It was fascinating watching The Post. That story took place nearly 50 years ago, but there many parallels today, obviously. At the time of the story, Donald Trump was suffering from (air quotes) “bone spurs.” Today the world is suffering from the real Donald Trump. Come on. You know. What are we talking about? This fucking idiot is the president. It’s the Emperor’s New Clothes. This guy is a fucking fool ...

Our government today with the [prompting] of our baby-in-chief—our jerkoff in chief, I call him—has put the press under siege, ridiculing it through trying to discredit it through outrageous attacks and lies. And again, just like 1971, the press is distinguishing itself with brave, exacting journalism.

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(Note to our Rust Belt readers: “Jerkoff” is a fancy East Coast term for “jagoff.”) Naturally, the same people who elected a reality-show host president are already telling De Niro to stick to acting.