He’s frugal/a Zoomer
Peter Parker is clearly in deprivation mode, which is why he avoids human contact and relies on a delivery app. But it also seems pretty clear that he’s on a very tight budget these days—that spell at the end of No Way Home turned off the Stark Industries tap—which is why he’s turned to Hot-N-Ready pizzas instead of picking up a slice here and there. More bang for his buck! Again, that spell left him without friends or resources; being Spider-Man is all Peter has right now, and director Destin Daniel Cretton has indicated that he’s back building his own tech, which probably requires whatever funds he might get from the job he could get as someone with no verifiable identity. He’s another Zoomer who had to forgo college, and he can’t even commiserate with his cohort. You’d turn to Crazy Puffs too. [Danette Chavez]
He’s not really in New York
New York City prides itself on its slice shops. Cheap, fast, delicious, and if you’re lucky, your local pizza joint has a few fancy house specials of their own. If you must cop out for a national chain that more or less tastes the same from coast-to-coast, it better be because you need more carbs on a budget. But this lack of New York flavor isn’t just in Peter Parker’s choice of ‘za. Instead of filming exteriors in the city or local businesses like Peter Pan Donuts like its predecessor, Brand New Day took a jolly holiday to Pinewood Studios outside of London, leaving all of the New York flavor behind, from our famous skyline that isn’t consistent in this movie to the weird void where there should be endless blocks of homes and apartments. It was disorienting trying to figure out what compressed, wonky streets they were trying to fashion into SoHo––or was it Downtown Brooklyn, which is missing a number of its own famous buildings? The filmmakers paid homage to Parker’s home turf of Queens by showing one half of the Silver Cup Studios’s neon sign he would have passed often on the 7 train into town, but it feels off, almost every facsimile of New York here feels off. This movie’s New York problem extends beyond Parker’s box of pizza. [Monica Castillo]
He’s going for what’s surprisingly convenient
I have not seen Brand New Day yet but I do live in New York and, on occasion, I enjoy Little Caesars. Holding both of these truths, I can also say that never in my five-plus years of living in New York have I consumed Little Caesars within the bounds of the city. This is not some principled position I have—I’ve had Dominos, which I would personally rank lower than Little Caesars—it just hasn’t come up. But I do understand where Peter is coming from. While it’s true that New York is famous for pizza, it’s as expensive as everything else is here. Dollar slices, once a staple of hole-in-the-wall places across Manhattan, are much more likely to cost you at least $1.50 now, if not $3 to $4. My go-to pizza places in Brooklyn—Crown Heights Pizza for takeout, or Lucky Charlie’s in Bushwick for sit-down—are likely to run you close to $30 for a pie, if not more. This is not a reasonable expense for someone with so limited income, at least not on any kind of regular basis. There are more Little Caesars across the boroughs than you might expect, so I can’t downplay the potential convenience, either. [Drew Gillis]
Obviously, he wants to try Little Caesars’ Webberoni Pizza
Like so many in today’s workaday world, Spider-Man has been lured in by Little Caesars’ Webberoni pizza. Frankly, it’s about time. For too long, branded characters have been deprived of the food that bears their image. Does He-Man chow down on Eternia’s Premium Breakfast Slam at Denny’s? (Seriously, like most of America, I have not seen Masters Of The Universe. Does he?) I can confidently say Baby Yoda, whose blue cookies are the basis for something called “Grogu’s Blue Cookie Shake,” does not enjoy the “hyperspace swirl of creamy soft serve blended with blue sugar cookie syrup” at Burger King. This is hardly a new problem. 30 years ago, the King introduced a branded item so perfect, it became a menu staple. Yet there is no scene in Small Soldiers where Major Chip Hazard has it his way and enjoys a Rodeo Burger. Brand New Day finally gets it right by sending the web-slinger into a Little Caesars. I have yet to see the movie, but surely our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man has found the multiverse where he can finally say, “Oh, I’ve got to try that. Pizza pizza that was made for me!” Right? Right?! [Matt Schimkowitz]
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