Korn, arguably the most successful fusion of scat-singing, bagpipes, and slack-stringed nü-metal riffs in music history, has lent its name to a newborn baby. While this could have been a late career branding exercise that managed to surpass both Korn Koffee, a band member jamming out with Mike Huckabee, and the group’s appearance in a little-known MMORPG, little baby Korn’s name was actually a mistake.
Korn Jr.’s mom, Kells Tate, detailed the mishap on Twitter yesterday, explaining in an all-caps word scream that’s more than appropriate in this situation that “THE HOSPITAL MESSED UP MY BABYS NAME AND WE JUST GOT THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND ITS KORN MY BABYS NAME IS LEGALLY KORN.” She also attached a photo, which should at the very least entitle her to a free, deluxe version copy of the band’s 2016 album, The Serenity Of Suffering, which includes a bonus track called “Baby.”
Tate continued her thread by clarifying that her child’s name was actually “supposed to be Kora,” that “this should be able to be easily fixed if we are fast,” She admits she might’ve been asked by the hospital if she actually wanted to name her baby Korn but that “to be fair, I was down a lot of blood at the time.”
She also let those following the saga of lil’ Korn know that she’s “mailed the corrections form” out. Unfortunately, that form used “the back of the Korn certificate,” meaning that her kid will soon have a less cool name and lose official proof of the brief moment in time when she was the living embodiment of ‘90s teenage ennui. At the very least, we can hope Tate spells Kora with a backwards “R” in consolation.
[via Uproxx]
Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com