The Razzies waste everyone’s time by nominating Mother! and not The Snowman

The Razzies are in the midst of an identity crisis. Are they a force for punny populism, standing up to the self-important fart-sniffers in the Hollywood establishment? Or are they ivory-tower jesters, skewering the laziest Hollywood has to offer in the name of elevating the popular discourse? Honestly, given that they failed to nominate either Twitter punching bag The Snowman or The A.V. Club’s worst movie of the year, The Last Face, for Razzie awards this year, we’re going to go with option C: “out-of-touch middlebrow joke writers.”

Instead, the Razzies decided to continue their tradition of picking on the Transformers and Fifty Shades movies—neither of which are very good, to be fair, but they’re also the easiest choices this side of an Adam Sandler movie. (We’re a bit surprised Sandy Wexler wasn’t represented, honestly, given the Razzies’ ongoing fixation on all things Sandler.) Speaking of easy choices: Boo 2! A Madea Halloween seems to have taken the Sandler slot this year, with most of the ostensible humor in the nod stemming from the fact that Tyler Perry wears a wig in the film. That being said, we can’t argue too much with the hate for The Emoji Movie, our No. 3 worst movie of last year. It was nominated for four Razzies, including “Any Two Obnoxious Emojis” for Worst Onscreen Combo, a nomination that raises more questions than it answers. (For example: Is there such a thing as a non-obnoxious emoji in this particular context? Why even have this category if you’re not going to put any effort into it?)

But the most eye-roll-inducing, fence-straddling pick would have to be Mother!’s dual nominations, which include an entirely unwarranted nod to Jennifer Lawrence for Worst Actress and a similarly baseless nomination for Darren Aronofsky for Worst Director. Whether you love it or hate it—we’re team Mother! here at The A.V. Club, for what it’s worth—you have to acknowledge that Aronofsky pulled off something extremely audacious (and, yes, competent) with that film, and Lawrence acted her heart out in it. In other words: Give it up, guys. She’s not going to show up to accept the “award.”

Worst Picture

The Emoji Movie
Transformers: The Last Knight
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Baywatch

Poisonous Performance by an Actor

Tom Cruise, The Mummy
Jamie Dornan, Fifty Shades Darker
Mark Wahlberg, Daddy’s Home 2 and Transformers: The Last Knight
Johnny Depp, Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales 
Zac Efron, Baywatch

Noxious Enactment by an Actress

Dakota Johnson, Fifty Shades Darker
Tyler Perry, Boo 2! A Madea Halloween
Katherine Heigl, Unforgettable
Emma Watson, The Circle
Jennifer Lawrence, Mother!

Worst Supporting Actor

Javier Bardem, Mother! and Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Russell Crowe, The Mummy
Josh Duhamel, Transformers: The Last Knight
Mel Gibson, Daddy’s Home 2
Anthony Hopkins, Collide and Transformers: The Last Knight

Worst Supporting Actress

Kim Basinger, Fifty Shades Darker
Sofia Boutella, The Mummy
Laura Haddock, Transformers: The Last Knight
Goldie Hawn, Snatched
Susan Sarandon, A Bad Moms Christmas

Worst Onscreen Combo

Any Combination of Two Characters, Two Sex Toys or Two Sexual Positions, Fifty Shades Darker
Any Combination of Two Humans, Two Robots or Two Explosions, Transformers: The Last Knight
Any Two Obnoxious Emojis, The Emoji Movie
Johnny Depp and His Worn Out Drunk Routine, Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Tyler Perry and Either the Ratty Old Dress or Worn Out Wig, Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween

Worst Remake, Ripoff or Sequel

Baywatch
Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers: The Last Knight

Worst Director

Darren Aronofsky, Mother!
Michael Bay, Transformers: The Last Knight
James Foley, Fifty Shades Darker
Alex Kurtzman, The Mummy
Anthony Leonidis, The Emoji Movie

Worst Screenplay

Baywatch
The Emoji Movie
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers: The Last Knight