Spike’s search for the next Jillian Michaels (starring Jillian Michaels), Sweat Inc. One Jillian Michaels is far more than the universe is prepared to handle, Spike.
Caffeinated water and drinkable oxymoron, Avitae. There already is a caffeinated water: it’s called “coffee.”
OWN’s super-bland Cosmos-but-for-religion, Belief. You haven’t seen boring footage of Tibetan monks until you’ve seen boring footage of Tibetan monks as narrated by Her Spiritualness, Oprah Winfrey!
The plethora of Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, and Kendall Jenner costumes this year. Considering all the plastic surgery, waist trainers, and contouring that family does, their Kardashian/Jenner costumes are automatically better than any Kardashian/Jenner costume you could come up with.
Bob Dylan for IBM’s creepy know-it-all, Hal-lite thing, Watson. It only took 11 years, but Bob Dylan finally found something sadder than a 63-year-old man singing in a Victoria’s Secret commercial: A 74-year-old man talking to a computer about folk music.
