Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
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This week we’re barely putting up with Bob Dylan’s IBM commercial

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A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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Comedy Central’s ultra-cool ‘80s cop parody ​Moonbeam City. A cartoon that looks like Patrick Nagel art come to life doesn’t have to be this funny, but thankfully it is.

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The thoroughly inexplicable Jem And The Holograms movie. Many of the little girls who once played with Jem now have little girls of their own who have no idea who Jem is but will be dragged to this movie because of mommy’s nostalgia.

Spike’s search for the next Jillian Michaels (starring Jillian Michaels), Sweat Inc. One Jillian Michaels is far more than the universe is prepared to handle, Spike.

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Caffeinated water and drinkable oxymoron, Avitae. There already is a caffeinated water: it’s called “coffee.”

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OWN’s super-bland Cosmos-but-for-religion, Belief. You haven’t seen boring footage of Tibetan monks until you’ve seen boring footage of Tibetan monks as narrated by Her Spiritualness, Oprah Winfrey!

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The plethora of Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, and Kendall Jenner costumes this year. Considering all the plastic surgery, waist trainers, and contouring that family does, their Kardashian/Jenner costumes are automatically better than any Kardashian/Jenner costume you could come up with.

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Bob Dylan for IBM’s creepy know-it-all, Hal-lite thing, Watson. It only took 11 years, but Bob Dylan finally found something sadder than a 63-year-old man singing in a Victoria’s Secret commercial: A 74-year-old man talking to a computer about folk music.