Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Thomas Jane just wants his heiress back!

Illustration for article titled Thomas Jane just wants his heiress back!

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, December 14. All times are Eastern.


Top pick

The Expanse (Syfy, 10 p.m.): What do we know about Syfy’s newest original series? Well, we know the synopsis of the pilot episode, “Dulcinea”: “A hardened detective begins an off-the-book investigation of a missing heiress in the series premiere of this futuristic thriller; at the same time, the captain of the ice-freighter Canterbury inquires into a distress call from a mysterious derelict ship.” We also know that the show is getting plenty of praise before it even airs… and not just from nerds! Our very own Alex McCown calls The Expanse “less a TV series than a 10-hour pulpy sci-fi movie” in his pre-air review of the series, and you know how we like our pulp. (If you don’t know, now you know.)

Super special coverage

Fargo (FX, 10 p.m.): Fargo’s second season ends tonight, and in true Fargo fashion, it shall remain a mystery until it actually airs. Here’s what we know: The episode is of course written by Noah Hawley, it’s directed by Adam Arkin, and it’s titled “Palindrome.” And here is the episode synopsis: “Peggy and Ed make a run for it.” Wow, descriptive. So far, the A and A- grades for this season of Fargo form a palindrome, so look forward to Zack Handlen ruining all of that with his episode grade.

Also noted

Supergirl (CBS, 8 p.m.): It’s the midseason finale of Supergirl, and aunts are challenging and hackers are exposing. Only, you know, with superpowers (and also computers)! “Kara goes toe-to-toe with Astra when her aunt challenges Kara’s beliefs about her mother. Also, Cat is threatened with being removed as the CEO of CatCo after a hacker exposes her private and damaging emails.” See, we told you, Caroline Siede—challenging and exposing.


Jane The Virgin (The CW, 9 p.m.): “Chapter Thirty” is Jane The Virgin’s midseason finale, and it’s also Mateo’s first Christmas! Also, Rogelio hires an intern, which means move over, Mateo—all we care about is Rogelio’s intern saga, kid. And “Jane and Rafael are still at odds with each other,” which is something that also sounds a lot less pleasant than Rogelio’s intern saga. We might have a one track mind, but come on. You kind of agree with us, don’t you, Oliver Sava?

Very Semi-Serious: A Partially Thorough Portrait Of New Yorker Cartoonists (HBO, 9 p.m.): “Profiling the creative talent behind the New Yorker’s cartoons. The documentary includes a look at a typical day in the magazine’s office, as well as interviews with artists and editors.” This is for all of you classy What’s On Tonight readers. As is the pre-air review from Noel Murray. You classy, classy readers.


Regular coverage

The Man In The High Castle (Amazon)

WWE Monday Night RAW (USA, 8 p.m.)

Elsewhere in TV Club

‘Allo gov’nuh. Translation: “Emily L. Stephens has given us all the gift of a Luther season four pre-air review.” English is such a beautiful language, you know?


Also, Alex McCown is all over TV Club tonight, as he also has an entry into The New Christmas Canon: Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s season three episode “Amends.” Because as we all know, the true meaning to Christmas is remembering all the people you slaughtered when you were soulless.

What else is on?

The Great Christmas Light Fight (ABC, 8 p.m.):The Great Christmas Light Fight will feature three neighborhoods from across America decorating their community to the extreme for Christmas and competing for a $50,000 grand prize and the honor of being the first-ever neighborhood to win. The featured neighborhoods include Lights on Jeter Bend in Celebration, FL; Waikele Christmas Lights in Waipahu, HI; and Christmas on Comstock in Gilbert, AZ.” This is a real show, in its third season.


The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.): Finally, The Voice is ending with the live finale! Night one! So it’s really the penultimate episode, just sayin’. “THE FINAL VOCALISTS COMPETE FOR THE TITLE OF THE VOICE.” We’re pretty sure no one who has ever won The Voice has actually been called “The Voice.” Just sayin’ that too.

Childhood’s End (Syfy, 8 p.m.): It’s been awhile since we’ve had a good old-fashioned Syfy miniseries, so here we are with Childhood’s End (based on the Arthur C. Clarke novel). Who do we got? We got Charles Dance, Mike Vogel (R.I.P. Under The Dome), Daisy Betts, Yael Stone, Julian McMahon, Osy Ikhile, and Colm Meaney. We’ve also got “alien overlords,” and that’s what we know you all really want. This is part one of three. Get into it.


Love & Hip Hop (VH1, 8 p.m.): Hollywood has reunited, so now it’s time for new episodes of… wherever the original Love & Hip Hop takes place. (We want to say Atlanta, but don’t hold us to that.)

Vanderpump Rules / Vanderpump Rules: After Show (Bravo, 9 / 11:30 p.m.): “Underprivileged children are treated to the SUR experience by Lisa, but bad behavior is served up by the staffers.” What a ridiculous television show.


Scorpion (CBS, 9 p.m.): Scorpion’s midseason is a “Dam Breakthrough,” in which… Let’s guess: Team Scorpion breaks the Hoover Dam? “On Christmas Eve, Team Scorpion must prevent a catastrophe when torrential rains create a large crack in a dam, threatening to wipe out an entire town in its wake.” Close enough, Scorpion. Close enough.

Cake Wars (Food Network, 9 p.m.): Cake Wars’ second season ends with the “Ultimate Gingerbread House.” Solid ending, Cake Wars.


Major Crimes (TNT, 9 p.m.): In “#FindKayla,” the Major Crimes team sets forth to find former Monday What’s On Tonight contributor Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya. Obviously.

NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS, 9:59 p.m.): Continuing the habit of taking episode titles super literally, we also have “Cancel Christmas,” in which NCIS: Los Angeles uses its midseason finale to officially wage the war on Christmas. First it makes one of its regulars a murderer (we think), and now this. Has there been much discussion about how NCIS: Los Angeles is a crazy show—you know, when discussing it from an intense outsider perspective?


The Great Holiday Baking Show (ABC, 10 p.m.): It’s Pastry Week! “This week’s Signature Bake finds the bakers making breakfast pastries, perfect for Christmas morning. The Technical Bake features one of judge Mary Berry’s most festive and fruity recipes. And the Showstopper finds the bakers building elaborate centerpieces from cream puffs and other puffed pastry pieces.” Pastry Week!

Adele Live In New York City (NBC, 10 p.m.): We’re not trying to ruffle any feathers, but we’re pretty sure you can see Adele perform live (in her first concert in four years!) in New York City if you watch this. Pretty, pretty sure.


Legends (TNT, 10 p.m.): Another week, another instance of “present day Paris” and “Prague” being used in one show’s episode synopsis than it has in every other synopsis combined. Don’t believe us? Just read: “In present day Paris, Martin prepares Kate for a dangerous job that Simon isn’t sure she can handle. In Prague, Gabi confronts the intelligence agents about Martin Odum. She knows they’re hiding something. In 2001 Prague, Ballard and Gabi discover Dmitry has a vulnerability. In 1984 England, Alex is recruited for a distinguished position, but finds that it comes with a demand for a personal sacrifice.”

Sports, sports, all type of sports

Barclays Premier League Soccer: Leicester vs. Chelsea (NBC Sports, 2:55 p.m.)

NBA Basketball: Magic at Nets (FSN, 7:30 p.m.)

Monday Night Football: Giants at Dolphins (ESPN, 8:15 p.m.)

In case you missed it

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Yippie Kayak Other Buckets!”