Thomas The Tank Engine has entertained children across the world for decades, offering simple, delightful stories about cartoon-faced trains through books, toys, and the long-running animated TV series, Thomas & Friends/Shining Time Station. As with so many childhood staples, it’s also been reworked many times to entertain adults by subverting innocent memories with horror game mods and theme song remixes.
The best of all these efforts, though, comes from YouTube’s JAW2, who, since 2015, has been carefully editing together a fresh reboot of Thomas The Tank Engine where George Carlin’s narrator spices up childhood train stories with some of the more colorful tales and expressions from his audiobook readings.
The seven video volumes created by JAW2 so far have now been compiled by James Isn’t Here into a 45 minute collection that places the clips in the original show’s episode order. While proper kids’ show chronology is the least important aspect of this series of edits, having nearly an hour of this work available in one place is definitely a good thing.
Kick back, relax, and soak in the dissonance that comes from hearing Carlin’s original narration mixed seamlessly in with audiobook quotes that turn Thomas, Mr. Conductor, Sir Topham Hatt, and their locomotive friends into a group of foul-mouthed degenerates—the kind of characters who can’t stop insulting each other and discussing topics ranging from penis tattoos and traffic accidents to getting “your balls caught in the toaster when it was turned all the way up to dark brown, and your wife was trying to rub butter on your balls, and your pitbull was in the kitchen and he really loves butter.”
Some of the clips are beautifully simple. In one, Carlin narrates James The Red Engine’s inner monologue: “’I’ll show them,’ he thought, ‘they think Gordon is the only engine who can pull coaches!’ Fuck ‘em.” In another, Sir Topham Hatt asks his son how his science project is going before being told, “Fuck you, dad, you simple-minded prick. Mind your own business and pass the Froot Loops.”
A series of scenes between Topham Hatt and his wife at breakfast is particularly good, but the entirety of the nearly hour-long collection of filthy trains is well worth watching.
Even better, the time has never been better for the creation of more Thomas The Tank Engine reworks of this kind. We only just received a wealth of clearly documented Ringo Starr cursing, after all.
[via Boing Boing]
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