This morning, the earth trembled as two dipshit titans—Rudy Giuliani and Piers Morgan—awakened from their slumber, striding confidently into the bloody forum of Good Morning Britain to engage in a climatic argument over which of them is the biggest wiener. Understanding that the ongoing anti-Black police brutality protests being held in America and across the world presents a perfect opportunity for both numbskulls to really vent their spleens about their careers, the two engaged in a verbal sparring match that, as was the case back when the Alien and Predator fought, leaves us all losers regardless of the outcome.
The argument begins with Morgan interrupting co-host Susanna Reid’s interview with Giuliani. After hearing the former mayor slurp on Donald Trump’s boots for a few minutes, somehow managing to defend the president’s actions over the past week, Morgan hops in to tell Giuliani that he’s “talking total claptrap.” Morgan calls out how weak Giuliani’s arguments sound as the two debate whether or not Trump is a racist. Giuliani gets fired up over “politically correct propaganda” and then both of them argue for a while longer about whether either of them ever believe what they say.