After breaking up the comedy duo of Seinfeld & Gates, Microsoft today debuted a new ad campaign meant to undercut the Apple propaganda that all PC users are John Hodgman. Apparently, Microsoft was very hurt by the stereotype that all of their customers are lovably dorky humor writers who are waged in a constant battle against smugness in the form of Drew Barrymore's ex-boyfriend. So they enlisted a whole array of new stereotypes (and three thoroughly unlikeable celebrities) to represent the PC nation in their new ads.

Ensconce yourself in the warmth of the global Microsoft spirit circle below:

Wow. So if you use a PC, you're in the company of French rap sensation Tony Parker, the make-up in the shape of Eva Longoria, Pharrell, some homeless guy with a beard, a scuba diver with an annoying sense of humor, the inspiration for The Love Guru (Deepak Chopra), and a number of people with really fun accents. This makes you want to buy a computer how?

Also, it would have been simpler for Deepak Chopra to just say, "I'm a PC, and I will gradually wear down your patience with verbal slingshot after verbal slingshot filled with bullshit."

And Eva Longoria and Tony Parker? "We're PCs and we will endorse anything!" Just for the record, here's a list of things Eva Longoria would be more than effective at selling: Bronzer, those airbrush make-up systems, a how-to manual on selling your wedding photos to tabloids, Desperate Housewives DVDs, BeDazzlers, irritation. Note that computers are not on that list. No one cares what kind of computer Eva Longoria uses to self-google.