Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Weekend Box Office: Ay-yi-yi, Frankenstein

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Like the “normal” people in the teal neon-lit nightclubs he wanders, audiences turned away from I, Frankenstein this weekend, repulsed—as all who walk the daylight would be—by the slight hint of scarring across the monster’s chiseled abs. The film about Aaron Eckhart punching a bunch of CGI shit in the face opened in sixth place with just under $8.3 million, even counting crowds who said, yes, let's see that in 3-D. As Box Office Mojo notes, that’s even less than half than what was earned by last year’s Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters, which similarly combined a classic tale with a digital migraine, then banked on the diminished capacity for judgment brought on by mid-January.


It’s possible I, Frankenstein could similarly crawl toward earning back its $65 million-plus budget in the less discerning overseas markets—and the sales of Yo, Frankenstein posters to irony connoisseurs alone might even put it over the top. But any hope of I, Still Frankenstein (let alone I, Frankenstein, And A Little Lady) now seems as dashed as those of a monster who’s just hoping to earn his place in the world one battered gargoyle at a time, only to find himself spurned by all except his hot cardiologist girlfriend.

The rest of the Top 10 was almost an exact repeat of last week’s, with Ride Along—in which Ice Cube and Kevin Hart are similarly, horrifyingly stitched together—remaining No. 1 and Lone Survivor No. 2. That means Universal is now the first studio to hold both of the top spots since 1994, when Warner Bros. had Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and the Steven Seagal eco-thriller On Deadly Ground, and America had incredibly low standards. Meanwhile, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit continued to prove that grownups don’t go to movies anymore by ceding last week’s fourth place spot back to Frozen, which has now surpassed The Lion King to become Disney’s second-highest-grossing animated film of all time, just behind Finding Nemo, if you don’t get into quibbles about inflation, whether the additional receipts from The Lion King’s and Finding Nemo’s 3-D re-releases should be counted, etc. Math is for grownups! Let’s play in the snow!

In limited release, the Vanessa Hudgens Afterschool Special Gimme Shelter disappointed people in 385 theaters who were expecting a new Martin Scorsese movie, earning just $721,000. And in just three theaters and a single theater, respectively, Gloria ($19,600) and Visitors ($10,700) entertained their modestly sized audiences with post-menopausal love stories and abstract museum art—two concepts from which most of the world would avert its eyes, like a handsome man rendered monstrous by a hideous, barely perceptible blemish.

For more detailed numbers, visit Box Office Mojo.