On the same day that one of America’s other short-lived political attention grabbers made his last, desperate gasp for relevance—hey, Ken—the voting public has just been introduced to a brand new and powerful player in the 2020 election: The fly that spent a long time hanging out on Vice President Mike Pence’s head during the vice-presidential debate tonight, soaking up attention, national laughter, and the rich scent of hairspray, shit, and Mother’s Special Ointment that we can only assume blankets Pence’s scalp like a warm and homophobic fog.
Given that the rest of the debate was mostly characterized by Pence rambling on past his time on pretty much every question, and America furiously Googling “ugly pink eye—COVID symptom?” on their phones, the fly quickly became a welcome distraction during tonight’s debate, a living symbol of the rot at the heart of so many of the institutions Pence holds so dear. (Also, it opened up the possibility that Pence’s head-fly might meet Rudy Giuliani’s dead hand, and can you say “Meet cute,” huh?!)