Desus and Mero review a few noteworthy Goop holiday gift guide suggestions

The pair start off their rankings with the Rainbow Mat, which costs $1,300 and is actually just a mat. (Though it is embedded with “seven types of natural gemstones.”) They move on to a “super soft blanket” that somehow goes for $3,700 and, Mero notes, would totally destroy anyone faced with guessing its value on The Price Is Right.

They go on to evaluate a rose quartz checker board ($1,900) that looks like it’s covered in slices of cured meat, a $20 set of “organic prerolled cones” that would make anyone who smokes from them “get into a conversation about Kamala Harris,” a white modernist bong for people who overpay for their weed, and a $400 pair of cashmere bloomers (“big back in the days when people would wash once a week.”)

The last item they consider is a $100 “playful” bunny-tailed butt plug, whose description makes Mero wonder if it comes over asking to get in a few rounds of Mario Kart before doing its duty. “You gotta be a wild person to buy a butt plug for someone else,” Desus says. “You gotta be clear where you stand with them.”

“You wanna fuck up Secret Santa?” Mero adds, which is a pretty good way to describe not just the butt plug but pretty much everything Goop suggests as a good gift idea.

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