Elephant pisses irony all over Texas GOP convention

It’s turning out to be a pretty good day for symbolism in America, as a bunch of Texas Republicans attempted to introduce a representation of American conservatism into polite society this afternoon—only for the damn thing to just piss all over everything.

This is per reporting from Texas Monthly reporter Robert Downen and New York Times reporter Lauren McGaughey, who were both covering Texas GOP’s state convention down in Houston on Friday when the ironic micturition took place. See, someone in Governor Greg Abbott’s camp apparently thought the convention—where attendees can attend panels and luncheons like “Don’t Sharia My Texas,” while being treated to a bombardment of AI fantasy ads where their elected official hang out with Frankenstein’s Ben Franklin—would be a good place to parade around an actual elephant with a blanket declaring “Unity Drives Victory” its back, only to be reminded that the greatest unity in all of the animal kingdom remains “When you gotta go, you gotta go.”