Hail Satan, Netflix's Sabrina series has settled its lawsuit over that chill goatman statue

By William Hughes | November 21, 2018 | 9:49pm

Aux Features TV

Reminding us all that there’s nothing we can’t do if we all come together in a spirit of togetherness, conciliation, and worship of our dark lord Satan, THR reports today that the Satanic Temple has amicably—that most devilish of adverbs—settled its lawsuit against Netflix’s Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina. The religious group launched its suit against the witchy series earlier this month, pissed off that a prominent statue of chill goatperson Baphomet on one of the show’s sets strongly resembled one of its copyrighted artworks.

Sadly, the exact contents of the settlement are being kept secret, so we’ll never know precisely how much of the massive $150 million in damages the church was seeking that it got, or how many firstborn children got signed over in the deal. (Note: The A.V. Club acknowledges that the Satanic Temple does not, and would not, steal and/or legally acquire your children. Please don’t sue us.) The only publicly-visible change will be a small edit to the already-released episodes of the Netflix series, such that “The unique elements of the Satanic Temple’s Baphomet statue will be acknowledged in the credits of episodes which have already been filmed.”