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Heartbroken Sean Hannity gives Roy Moore 24 hours to restore his lost innocence

The football represents Hannity’s dreams, on the verge of being chucked away. (Photo: Paul Zimmerman/Getty Images)

Sean Hannity pivoted tonight like an online publication that’s just caught wind of video, turning his back on Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore after days of championing his cause amidst rumors of a long-established pattern of alleged sexual misconduct. Hannity—who is, of course, motivated at all times only by his love of truth and bloviation, and not by concerns about pissing off yet more advertisers with his continued support of Moore—has yanked his defense of the candidate with exactly the same rock-solid certainty with which he once offered it, because to live as Sean Hannity is to live as a child does, free and without doubt.


Still, never let it be said that Sean Hannity isn’t a sporting demagogue: The Fox News host is giving Moore 24 hours to prove his innocence before he turns his back on him, at which point he’ll presumably give the order to his hammer-wielding acolytes to go smash anything in their homes with the words “Roy” or “Moore” printed on them. Meanwhile, we can only imagine the excitement in the Moore camp tonight, as the former judge’s supporters break up into teams to hunt around the office for the clues that might finally crack this case. Fail, and their candidate loses a key endorsement from an improbably enduring national media figure. Win and—rumor has it—Hannity will let them take a trip to his Big Prize Board, where all the point values are doubled:

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