Look, there’s nothing wrong with fan fiction. As this recent essay on Newsies fandom goes to show, penning elaborate (and steamy scenarios) for the fictional characters with whom you identify can be a healthy way to hone one’s writing skills and explore nascent sexuality.

But, Christ, this stuff gets weird.

There’s fanfic for pretty much any existing property—Mr. Belvedere, anyone?—so consider it no great surprise that there’s a deep, deep well of fan-written The Walking Dead stories. And, well, someone out there really wants to see Rick and Daryl get fucked by Santa Claus.

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Norman Reedus, the actor who plays redneck badass Daryl on the series, was recently met with a selection of these works during an interview with Page Six (while wearing a sick Eraserhead shirt), and his reactions range from amused to confused to kind of overwhelmed.

It starts innocently enough: “Rick decides to play a tracking game, and Daryl is easy enough to convince to join ... especially when sex is involved.” Sure, there’s potential there. It starts getting weird, however, when one story finds Daryl (pre-apocalypse, presumedly) taking a job at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, the setting for popular mobile horror game Five Nights At Freddy’s.

Reedus reaches his breaking point when Daryl’s traumatic past propels the character into Rick’s waiting arms. “That’s so dysfunctional,” he says in disbelief, passing off the paper as if it were on fire. “Why would you even hand me that?”

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The highlight, however, might be Reedus’ cocked head and furrowed brow after reading that “Daryl is a broken piece of glass, and Rick has his own cracks.” Sometimes, he seems to have learned, it’s best to leave the fanfic for the fans.