Jon Stewart celebrates Trump's 100 days by recapping three tiring months of failure
Kicking off a week of shows commemorating the longest 100 days in American history, Jon Stewart led The Daily Show through a recap of some of the president's greatest hits.
Are ya winning, Jon? No. No, he’s not. One hundred days into the second Trump presidency, Jon Stewart is forced to find the humor in four-year-olds with Stage 4 cancer being deported, so no, it’s not winning. No one said the job was easy, but the wanton and needless destruction over President Trump’s first 100 days has aged Stewart tremendously. Just check out that beard at the top of tonight’s Daily Show, the man isn’t doing well.
No, Trump’s 100 days haven’t been a return to the America that never existed. It’s more like the beginning stages of a Mad Max wasteland, where every day rights are stripped, people are illegally jailed, and the world’s greediest people enrich themselves through open corruption and a $40 million Melania Trump documentary directed by Brett Ratner. As HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy will soon remind us: Do not become addicted to water because it will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.
Not only is nothing going to plan, but the U.S. people, by and large, hate this presidency. Though we wish the electorate had remembered what being ruled by Trump was like instead of listening to Theo Von, the American people are rejecting Trump’s attempts at whatever the fuck this is. His poll numbers are underwater, so it’s high time for Chuck Schumer to send the President a strongly worded letter.
Stewart breaks down his unpopularity into promises and reality. He promised prosperity; we got a needless trade war that will put countless people out of work. He promised tighter border security; he’s deporting two-year-olds, random U.S. citizens, and activists exercising their rights. He vowed to stop the war in Ukraine; he’s Truthing “Vladimir, STOP” to no avail. Don’t get us started on religion, either. We were promised religion’s big comeback, and a day after meeting with Vice President JD Vance, the fucking Pope died. But shaking off the 100-day doldrums, Stewart got a burst of energy as he listened to Trump prattle on about the leverage he has in this stupid trade war. As always, Stewart’s is not enough, but it’s nice to hear, especially with all the TV appearances Stephen Miller is making these days. Yeesh. You know things are going badly when they let that guy on camera.
“It took the people 250 years of striving to live up to a constitutional republic and rule of law, painstaking equity that you are squandering,” Stewart says. “That is the crux of American exceptionalism. You just want to make us great. That’s a downgrade. Our brand is not strategic uncertainty, and you are not the keeper of our pot of gold.”
“The more enamored, President Trump, you are with your authoritarian whims, the more you turn our shining city on a hill into just another ordinary, despot-led, sea-level shithole. So if I could just put this in negotiating terms you can understand, all caps, Donald, stop!”
