Mentioning that even his first guest, Blue Bloods star and Wahlberg family member who didn’t blind an Asian man in a hate crime attack, Donnie Wahlberg has jumped on the true crime bandwagon (he’s hosting an HLN show called Very Scary People, starting on Sunday, kids!), Colbert went on to introduce his very own entry into the world of lurid TV voyeurism, Dialogue with a Demon: The Dick Nighttime Murders. In the preview for the fictional Netflix series, the preening Dick, in all his hunky, chin-dimpled glory, is breathlessly described by a roster of experts. “There was something unique about Dick’s brain,” panted one, “also his abs.” Another described it as ironic that Dick’s “stunning blue eyes” resembled an “icy mountain lake,” since that was the place where the cannibal woman-murderer dumped what remained of his victims. Speaking of his victims, the trailer didn’t speak much about his victims. (“I mean, yeah, I guess they were a bunch of young women with brown hair,” explains one witness dismissively, “but honestly, none of them were even that hot, so I wouldn’t focus on it.”) Boasting “plenty of sexy-ass footage that in no way explains his crimes,” the teaser for Dick Nighttime concludes with Netflix’s new slogan, “Shame on you for watching us.”