Time Warner passive-aggressively pushing Netflix away by withholding HBO shows, delaying new releases

Citing a need to just get some space and focus on itself for a while, Time Warner has slowly begun creating distance between itself and Netflix, perhaps after realizing that it just wasn’t getting as much out of their relationship. “Netflix is just no good for you, girl,” Time Warner’s media conglomerate friends said over Kir Royales, down at the local anthropomorphic media conglomerate bar. In fact, Time Warner has started to believe that Netflix is really taking advantage of it, what with it buying all of its HBO show discs at a deep discount, then lending them out to all of its buddies. Not to mention getting every one of its new releases a mere 28 days after they’re first made available—two practices that have left Time Warner feeling used and useless, as no one even wants to buy its DVDs anymore. And when was the last time Netflix said Time Warner was pretty?

Anyway, that’s all going to change now: In order to concentrate on its own HBO Go needs and boost its DVD sales, “Me Time” Warner recently informed Netflix that it would have to start buying HBO DVDs from third-party companies at a slightly higher price. That price hike will not, as of yet, affect Netflix members, but today it was also announced that Netflix—as well as Redbox, Blockbuster, or any of those other piggish companies that take their media conglomerates for granted—will now have to wait 56 days to get their hands on Warner Bros.’ new releases, which definitely will. Also, two nights a week Warner Bros. is going to start taking some pottery classes and Netflix will just have to deal.