TJ Miller has returned to his true passion: Writing batshit Yelp reviews
Earlier this summer, TJ Miller shocked the HBO-watching, comedy-loving world by announcing his departure from Silicon Valley, the show on which he made his name as tech-industry blowhard Erlich Bachman. And while many of the trickled-out bits of news since then would imply that ballooning egos were at play, he’s also said that the exit was “super friendly.” In the midst of all of this, he debuted an HBO comedy special in which he showed audiences the full range of his talents, coming across as a comedian at home with both traditional, storytelling stand-up and a much more unhinged, performance-art style.
Last week, after a meal at New York City’s Niu Noodle, he indulged yet another previously unknown skill set: writing batshit-insane, stream-of-consciousness Yelp reviews. In the five-star review, which somehow combines the tone of a Tom Wolfe-influenced fiction undergrad with that of an elderly person commenting underneath a favorite brand’s Facebook promotion, he writes:
The Hong Kong pork bun, and the fried pork buns are incredibly delicious and very soft… if they are warm when they come to the table push them against your eyes and your face… You’ll thank me later!, or it’ll feel weird and you won’t thank me when you see me later on.
There was some sort of truffle business going on with oyster sauce in some dumplings or another but by that time I was so dumpling’d out, I forgot which goddamn dumpling I was eating! All I know is there was some fried egg around it and I wasn’t callin’ the cops about it! Because it was delicious- no crime committed!