Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

We’re pleased to inform you that Zelda is actually the boy

With an ever-expanding video game market that’s continuously adding to the accepted lore of beloved characters, it can be difficult to keep all your video game-related facts straight. But there are a few things that are unquestionably set in stone: The Mario brothers are plumbers, the Konami code almost always works, and Zelda is the boy from The Legend Of Zelda.

If you’re having trouble grasping that last fact, may we direct your attention to a recent discussion on Twitter where Late Show With Stephen Colbert writer Ariel Dumas was forced to repeatedly and patiently explain to stubborn, self-proclaimed “fans” that Zelda is, in fact, the main guy. It all started earlier this month when Dumas posted a short video of the protagonist from Breath Of The Wild with the caption, “Zelda what are you doing.” It didn’t take long before people were tripping over themselves to correct her, as if she’d made some sort of mistake!


Unwilling to be gas-lit by these misinformed strangers, Dumas spent the weekend responding to their snide remarks with rational truth and logic. “Why would they name the game after the princess who barely does anything? It’s not called Super Princess Peach Brothers,” said one response. “Why do I say, ‘I’m going to go play Zelda,’ and not, ‘I’m going to go play some Link?’ It doesn’t add up. Zelda is obviously the main guy. Case closed.”

As the debate continued to heat up— and Dumas’ light-hearted trolling continued to draw the ire of humorless drips everywhere —other fans of the franchise began to chime in with some pretty devastating evidence to back up Dumas’ claims, including a quote from Nintendo founder Hideo Kojima himself.


So, as 2017 draws to a close and so much of what we once put our faith in no longer seems certain, we can at least take comfort in knowing the simple fact that Zelda is, without question, the boy.


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About the author

Dan Neilan

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Have Fun — Will Travel.