Great job, Internet!: Let's check in on the Freedom 250 Great American Ghost Town
With more people on stage than in the audience at the Great American State Fair, it's going to take all the Trump math in the world to turn this into a success.
(USDA photo by Christophe Paul)
In case the cage fighting on the White House lawn didn’t give away the surprise, it’s the United States of America’s 250th birthday this week. To celebrate, the extremely popular President Donald Trump threw one of the most underwhelming parties America has ever seen: The Great American State Fair, an event so noxious, so repellent that not even Vanilla Ice could muster up the courage to attend.
It’s been one huge embarrassing failure after another for old 47 as the State Fair has failed to capture the spirit, excitement, or attendance that many other well-attended, unifying events, such as the World Cup, have been enjoying this summer. Nevertheless, the show must go on, and what a show it has been. Aside from the algae-infested freakshow of Trump’s reflecting pool makeover, all 12 Great American guests have had the opportunity to walk through a lazy and slowly collapsing mock-up of the arch Trump wants to block the Lincoln Memorial with. Of course, in keeping with the conservative pastime of good-faith debate, there have been searing conversations about the Salem Witch Trials between a bigot and a 10-year-old. Said bigot, the Daily Wire‘s Michael Knowles, DESTROYED the child by arguing that “the one area where the Salem Witch Trials went a little far is they weren’t organized enough, so you had these random judges burning these ladies. I don’t know if they were guilty or not, but if it were more formalized, maybe with a grand inquisitor or something, that would’ve been a better way to do it.” Attendees disturbed by Knowles ‘ inability to determine whether the mostly teenage victims of the sham trials were guilty of witchcraft or not could always check out the pancake-eating contest—but don’t sit in the splash zone if you don’t want to get puked on.
Attendance has been the real killer for the Great American State Fair. Despite what ICE agent Dean Cain and poop-obsessed TV doctor Dr. Oz lie about on stage, event footage has revealed that the Fair is primarily for MAGA stalwarts hoping that President YMCA will finally dance with them and whisper, “I’m proud of you, son,” softly into their ear. But of all the videos, it’s one from this morning that’s really captured the schadenfreude one could hope for from this fascist Dashcon. This morning, journalist Dave Levinthal posted a video of an unnamed band performing “Crazy In Love” with more people on stage than in the crowd.
The 11 a.m. Tuesday time slot is at the Great American State Fair is apparently not the most fruitful, as there are more musicians in the band than spectators.
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