At long last, after too many delays, Jackass Forever is actually going to be released this week. In order to help us prepare for the second-hand agony of watching people get hurt in a whole bunch of ludicrous ways, the cast of the movie/former TV show have been getting out there to discuss the extent of the completely unnecessary physical damage they’ve done to themselves over the years.
Chris Pontius is the latest cast member to give us a chance to wince over the written word before we get to see him torture himself on camera. In an interview with Uproxx, Pontius discusses his career, from skateboarding and working at Big Brother magazine through to his many years as a frequently nude member of the Jackass crew.
When asked about his reputation for being “the naked guy” and whether he’s “ever regretted being the dick-stunt guy,” Pontius says that he never has, “even in times when it was painful,” because he realized long ago “that whatever you do, if you do it naked, it automatically makes it 10 times funnier.”
“I’ll tell you what,” he continues, “Sometimes, you might not feel like getting naked, but it’s weird, once you take your clothes off it strips away all inhibitions. You’re exposing everything. It’s like almost like stripping into a superhero costume .... It’s like Superman putting on his outfit.”
To make clear to readers what sort of penis agony Pontius somehow doesn’t regret having inflicted on him, he’s asked to describe “the worst dick-related injuries” he’s experienced. Pontius says that those occurred while filming Jackass 3D, which “[scheduled] three dick stunts in a row.” In them, he endured, for example, a woodpecker attacking his genitals and him placing his junk into a rat trap. “It hurt really bad when the pecker would hit my pecker,” he says.
He also mentions having his penis attacked by a “really mean snake” and trying to get a “really mean cat” to go for it after it was coated in catnip. (Fortunately, the cat didn’t perform the stunt properly.)
Reflecting on all of this, he says: “It’s amazing. Penises are actually really tough.” Pontius also promises that his “penis went through a lot” for Jackass Forever and ends his reminiscences by stating that “penises are really underused in comedy ... until now.”
Read the entire Pontius interview over at Uproxx for more on dick damage, the most painful stunts from his career, and an unfortunately vivid description of what, exactly, horse semen tastes like.
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