So You Think You Can Dance: "Audition #5"

We have come to the end of the auditions — thankfully. Just one more hour and we’ll be into the drama of Vegas. For my money the intensity of the mass-elimination semi-final rounds are the greatest innovation of the modern reality talent competition. Oliver has already slogged through four solid hours of auditions for you, and now I’m going to come in and clean up the leavings. The two of us will be alternating nights, generally speaking, so next week it will be me on Wednesday and Oliver on Thursday.
Thank goodness you didn’t have me here last night, because that was a long stretch of talented dancers that we didn’t get to see going to Vegas, punctuated by people we did get to see who danced in unusual styles or were uniquely self-delusional. (Seriously, SYTYCD — do not give crazy people and their crazy dads a platform on your show. It seems borderline dangerous.) Worse, for me, was that the show exhibited what I dubbed “contempoglut” for the first time last night after an initial set of auditions refreshingly free from that move where you scissor-kick in mid-leap and then land on your knee and side, you know the one I’m talking about? (Oliver is the person with dance knowledge in our partnership; I’m just a couch potato fan.)
So we’ve landed in L.A., where, if Platinum Hit is any indication, dancers will be asked to choreograph a number inspired by the city and featuring themes of angels and dreams. Or maybe they’ll just dance for Tyce Diorio, a prospect nearly as cheesy. Tyce couldn’t get his jaw off the floor for “innocent” Jordan, who does a number that looked like it was missing its prop pole. (Cue raised eyebrow from Nigel.) Ariel, a repeat contestant, attacks her contemporary moves and displays the power of near stillness besides, earning commendation as most improved. Janine’s sister Alexis showed excellent training and confidence, only getting dinged by Nigel for “goldfishing” with her mouth in moments of extreme emotion.
In heartwarming story news, D.C. the expectant dad reveals that he planned to get his girlfriend pregnant, much to the surprise of their parents. That’s before he teaches Nigel the Cat Daddy and does a witty baggy-pants hip-hop number pantomiming “That’s Life.” (Cut to Twitch in the audience!) I’m generally in favor of choreography for any street dancers, but his full-body control and awesome performance sense merits a trip to Vegas.