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The iPhone 8 will have to wait another month to screw you out of $1,000

Behold, the bloody aftermath of a psychotic smartphone serial killer. (Photo: Nicolas Asfouri/AFP/Getty Images)

After learning it was technically possible to add a headphones jack to the iPhone 7, it seemed clear that we had already received any positive Apple-related stories for the week. But no, along comes even better news today: It’ll be an extra month before the company bilks you out of a grand.

In anticipation of Apple’s September 12 press conference where the company plans to unveil its new phone models, Variety reports the impending rollout of the iPhone 8 has been delayed by at least a month, thanks to manufacturing problems. The delays stems from difficulties related to OLED (organic light-emitting diode) panels for the smartphones—i.e. the stuff that makes up the display. So let the rejoicing commence, because it means you’ll have a thousand bucks to your name for at least another 30 days. (True, it’s technically only the premium model of the phone that’s expected to set you back $999, but what—are we supposed to merely pay $649 or $769 for the follow-up versions of the iPhone 7 or 7 Plus, like some sort of damn poor person?)


This follows on the reports that Apple had to eliminate its attempt to embed the Touch ID function into the new screens, instead maintaining password access or possibly a new facial-recognition feature to unlock phones. No word yet on whether the new phones will simply laugh at you as you drain your bank account of its precious remaining funds, or if it will go in and send a debt collector to your house directly. Apple is expected to begin taking orders for the phones September 22.

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Alex McLevy

Alex McLevy is a writer and editor at The A.V. Club, and would kindly appreciate additional videos of robots failing to accomplish basic tasks.