Driving home from school in New Orleans every day, I'd always find myself burning with anger and thinking, "God, I really should just kill someone." Nothing would trigger this desire to kill, really. It was just a mid-afternoon spike in the natural murderous rage present in all human beings. And so at every stoplight I'd sharpen the end of my weapon of choice, a spork (for whatever reason, a spork-shiv just made more sense to me for the kind of senseless killing I wanted to do), and scan the streets for possible victims. This would go on for several blocks. But then, right before I could fashion a handle for my spork-shiv out of duct tape, I'd see it: A gigantic white billboard with the words "Thou Shalt NOT Kill" splayed across it in massive black letters.
"Oh, right," I'd whisper to myself before throwing my spork-shiv out of the car window and getting on the interstate towards home.