Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

C'mon, it can't be this easy to debunk those new UFO videos

Duct tape? Seriously?
Duct tape? Seriously?
Screenshot: YouTube / Mike West (Fair Use)

We recently arrived at yet another one of those UFO (sorry, UAPs...we’re still getting used to that) news cycles that seem to mysteriously reappear in the middle-distance every few months or so. This time, however, it feels a bit different... yes, we know we’ve said that in the past. Multiple times. But when Obama is desperate enough to tell anyone—even James Corden—about it on national late night television, then hell, maybe we’re finally moving towards something big here.

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If nothing else, those newest videos of UFOs UAPs look pretty damn convincing, especially when you remember that this evidence is backed up by multiple professional military personnel, politicians, intelligence officers, and Demi Lovato. And let’s not forget all those millions of taxpayer dollars sunk into trying to figure out exactly what the hell these things are. Surely they’ve at least exhausted all the usual, easy explanations for what’s going on out there.

...oh COME ON. Seriously? So you mean to tell us that one of the most convincing pieces of UFO, wait goddamnit, UAP evidence to emerge in years—one that has stumped all kinds of top military and intel officials—can probably be explained by an out-of-focus Spirit Airlines plane, subpar night vision, and a dinky little triangular camera lens? According to Mick West (the same guy who explained the ridiculousness of that recent Biden green screen theory) the gleaming pyramid shape can easily be attributed to what’s known as the Bokeh Effect, which refracts light in such a way as to shape it into the geometric shapes seen in the famous Corbell video.

If that’s not enough, West went ahead and pointed out that the UFO sigh UAP’s blinking pattern closely mirrors that of a Boeing 737... which is just the sort of plane that would have been flying nearly directly overhead the USS Russell, where the footage was filmed, as it made its way along a very standard flight path towards Los Angeles from places like Asia and Hawaii. He even plotted out the damn stars in the sky on the date the film was made. Then, to top it off, he essentially recreated the whole thing on his own.

Well, fine. Maybe it wasn’t inter-dimensional Reptilian invaders from Alpha Centauri monitoring humanity’s military while planning their conquest of Earth, and instead just a Delta red eye flight full of pretzel and Pepsi-stuffed passengers. At least West can’t take the Omaha Sphere UFO UAP from us...

Jesus Christ, you gotta be KIDDING us here.

[via Digg]

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Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).