The Bataan Red Carpet March of awards season trudges grimly on, as the miles-long caravan of celebrities—their gowns tattered, their starving burros laden with gift bags, their barely masked hostility at having to talk to Giuliana Rancic beginning to slip—made its latest stop at the Critics’ Choice Awards last night. More than the People’s Choice Awards, the Kids’ Choice Awards, the Teen Choice Awards, the Healthy Choice Awards, the Sophie’s Choice Awards, etc., the Critics’ Choice Awards mean the most because they come from the critics, who are given this one, annual chance to say what movies they like. And this year, the critics said they liked Birdman, a movie that said that all critics are preening, pretentious, vindictive assholes. But, ’twas all in good fun.
While Birdman took home the most of the Critics’ Choices—including two awards for Michael Keaton, one for its entire acting ensemble, and nods for its screenplay, cinematography, editing, and drum-pounding score—Boyhood arguably had the strongest showing. Richard Linklater’s film added to its awards haul with another win for Best Picture, as well as Best Director, Best Supporting Actress for Patricia Arquette, and Best Young Actor/Actress for all the various ages of Ellar Coltrane.
That domination of Birdman and Boyhood echoed the Golden Globes, as did the wins for Still Alice’s Julianne Moore, Whiplash’s J.K. Simmons, Selma’s Best Song team of Common and John Legend, and the Best Comedy victory for The Grand Budapest Hotel. But the Critics’ Choice strategy of awarding movies according to more narrowly defined genres—thus extending the amount of time celebrities have to hang out with them—also saw some under-recognized films and performers take home trophies. Most notably, Jenny Slate won Best Actress In A Comedy for her role in Obvious Child, while Guardians Of The Galaxy finally won something for Best Action Movie. (Though even lovable Chris Pratt couldn’t overcome American Sniper’s Beard-ley Cooper for Best Actor In An Action Movie.)
Similarly, Emily Blunt’s performance in Edge Of Tomorrow was singled out for praise, giving that movie its first taste of awards season, while Interstellar’s win for Best Sci-Fi/Horror Movie finally gave Christopher Nolan’s space epic an accolade for something other than its score (even if it had to crawl over the arguably more deserving likes of Under The Skin and Snowpiercer to do it). The Roger Ebert documentary Life Itself—which resonated with movie critics, for obvious reasons—also triumphed in its category. And The Lego Movie overcame its Golden Globes loss and complete omission from the Oscars to win Best Animated Feature, proving that, at least once a year, critics get something right.
Elsewhere, Jessica Chastain received the 2014 MVP Award for starring in seemingly every movie in 2014; Kevin Costner was given a Lifetime Achievement Award for doing the same for most of the 1990s; and Ron Howard took home the LOUIS XIII Genius Award, presumably for his efforts at suppressing the French nobility.
Also, host Michael Strahan kicked off the show with strippers, an interpretive dance that perfectly evoked the dignity of awards season.
Here’s the complete list of nominees, with winners in bold. Only 100 more of these to go!
Best Picture
Birdman
Boyhood
Gone Girl
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game
Nightcrawler
Selma
The Theory Of Everything
Unbroken
Whiplash