Hope Hicks, person who doesn’t like talking, named WH Communications Director

Plugging the still-burning, Anthony Scaramucci-sized hole in the nation’s septum, Donald Trump’s White House will reportedly follow the cocaine jolt of The Mooch with the calming Valium that is Hope Hicks, offering the woman best known for never talking the position of interim communications director. Hicks, the fourth person to occupy the position since the election, is a 28-year-old staffer who has the somewhat-notable distinction of being Donald Trump’s longest-serving political aide, having previously served as his campaign’s press secretary before joining the administration in the newly created role of Director of Strategic Communications.
Throughout her run, Hicks has been characterized by her unquestioning loyalty to Trump and by keeping an incredibly quiet, low profile (she never even tweets), displaying an unwillingness to speak to the press about just about anything—in other words, exactly what Trump would be looking for in a new “Communications Director.” Hicks, a former model, is also a natural when it comes to flattery, having memorably said she thinks Donald Trump is “brilliant with a great sense of humor” and that he “exudes positive energy.” We feel more communicated to already!
While the new person in charge of conveying the White House’s message to the press doesn’t like to give interviews and often flat-out ignores reporters—leading to the creation of a suspended parody account called @HicksNoComment—we do know a few things about her. In this 2016 profile for GQ, Olivia Nuzzi got the scoop from Hicks the only way you really can: by trying to ask her questions, having Hicks decline, then being informed that Nuzzi “could talk about her with Donald Trump, in front of her.” Yes, even when it comes to straightforward inquiries about Hicks’ own life, it seems, she immediately defers to her boss.