Thought it seemed for a few brief, sun-dappled months that life was doing the Entourage movie—so everyone could just head to Vegas for a few days to chill and exchange moderately clever observations about each other’s shortcomings while still being bros—the New York Post reports the completely-unexpected-to-all-who-have-never-seen-an-episode-of-Entourage plot twist that Vince might not be doing the movie. According to the article, despite the film being scheduled to go into production back in May, it’s been delayed these past few months while producers wrangle with cast members’ demands for more money, which they need to buy more sneakers and weed for their idiot friends.
Specifically, Adrian Grenier and Jerry Ferrara are said to be “still holding out,” causing the only sort of drama that passes for conflict within the world of Entourage. Grenier—secure in the knowledge that he is Vinnie Chase, and the entire Entourage universe hinges on the premise that he’s a sought-after movie star—seeks the compensation required to maintain that illusion, lest he just walk away from it all right now, and end up at the home of a very confused, probably frightened Mandy Moore. Meanwhile, Ferrara seeks a new hat, lest the film be robbed of a pointless subplot about his latest business venture involving “luxury hip-hop buffalo wings” or whatever. Fortunately, Jeremy Piven finally relented and signed his own contract two weeks ago, having given Jeremy Piven a hilariously scabrous talking-to in which he accused Jeremy Piven of enjoying sucking on penises. Meanwhile, Kevin Connolly and Kevin Dillon are already signed on or maybe not, it genuinely doesn’t matter.
The delay is expected to threaten a life-changing upset for everyone involved for approximately 16 minutes, then we can go to the club.