"Great Job, Internet!"

• aux Anti-procrastination app will delete your brilliant novel if you stop typing for 5 minutes By Gwen Ihnat September 5, 2019 | 7:28pm
• aux Laughing Green Shirt Guy laughs for all of us By Gwen Ihnat August 7, 2019 | 7:41pm
• aux It's 3 p.m., so let's watch a 1987 diet video hosted by Vanna White By Maggie Donahue August 24, 2018 | 8:00pm
• aux The art of writing big-budget video games sounds pretty bleak By Alex McLevy May 10, 2018 | 6:00pm
• aux Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom wants us to feel bad for the damn monsters By Reid McCarter March 6, 2018 | 3:49pm
• aux Well, hello, here's a TV show about a "cat samurai" By Reid McCarter March 1, 2018 | 3:17pm
• aux Welcome to the era of the way-too-long album By Reid McCarter February 27, 2018 | 4:11pm
• aux Music: Probably not actually a "universal language," after all By Reid McCarter February 22, 2018 | 4:01pm
• aux All Olympic figure skating routines should be Star Wars-themed By Reid McCarter February 15, 2018 | 4:30pm
• aux Reality bends, but manages to hold as Will Ferrell and doppelgänger Chad Smith meet once again By Reid McCarter February 14, 2018 | 7:21pm
• aux Internet, start your Game of Thrones-Altered Carbon shared-universe engines By Randall Colburn February 13, 2018 | 7:17pm
• aux The cycle is complete: Logan Paul is back to being an insufferable shit on YouTube By Reid McCarter February 6, 2018 | 6:37pm
• aux But seriously, what the fuck was Justin Timberlake wearing last night? By Reid McCarter February 5, 2018 | 4:50pm
• aux Groundhog apparently fed up with this shit, starts biting people By Reid McCarter February 2, 2018 | 4:59pm
• aux Here's exactly how Netflix adapts to make you love it as much as possible By Reid McCarter February 1, 2018 | 4:07pm
• aux Disneyland robot heads fall off in innovative new approach to scarring children By Reid McCarter January 30, 2018 | 4:12pm
• aux Google Home has not come to know Christ By Reid McCarter January 29, 2018 | 3:23pm
• aux Illuminati endgame begins as Oprah reveals 3 hands, Reese Witherspoon 3 legs By Reid McCarter January 26, 2018 | 3:39pm
• aux The Rock will not humor your critiques of Jumanji's internal logic By Randall Colburn January 25, 2018 | 6:44pm
• aux MoonPie and Wendy's are friends now because the internet is a corporate hellscape By Reid McCarter January 25, 2018 | 3:17pm
• aux S.E. Hinton explains The Outsiders’ tragic ending: “I am a stone cold bitch” By Gabe Worgaftik January 24, 2018 | 6:00pm
• aux This year, commit yourself to the calming influence of a horror movie every day By Reid McCarter January 22, 2018 | 9:38pm
• aux The entire James Bond series has been recut into a single film about warring James Bondses By Reid McCarter January 19, 2018 | 5:01pm
• aux Bill Murray would like for you to help him pick out some pants By Reid McCarter January 18, 2018 | 7:14pm
• aux A brief history of Zack Morris being a complete piece of shit By Reid McCarter January 16, 2018 | 3:59pm